Well, I don't know if any of you (other than Porcelain...most likely) know this, but it's apparently blog every day April or something, so, to reference one of kylie's posts we should all post every week of April. (it shouldn't be that hard, its only 4 in a row) So, to start --
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(Okay, sorry porcelain, but you said i should do the "fate" one first, it might be a little more depressing than you thought....but then again, maybe not, I haven't written it yet ^.^)
Okay so fate -- or what could have happened
To be truthful, I've been thinking a lot about what i would be like if I went to Tyee instead of FR. For example, would Sherman have had cause to be surprised by my "little girl voice" or would that have faded over time?
Would I have the same opinions as i do now? Would the things I hate be something I can't live without? Would I have the same problems? Would I have the same pressures? Would I understand other people better or worse?
These are the types of things I've been wondering about recently just because I've been wondering if I actually should have ended up at Forest Ridge. Sometimes, I've even wondered so much as to think that i may have been happier if it turned out some other way. Maybe I'm insane, dwelling on the past isn't healthy, but i've always kind of sort of believed in fate, but now, I'm not so sure.
This is probably brought on by the whole IB ordeal. It started with "how prepared will i really be if im not interested in math or science", and it's grown into this giant thing that im constantly thinking about. For example, My mother is always talking about how my brother only knows what he wants to do because newport had a BUNCH of electives he could take, and 1) we've basically been cheated out of all our electives, and 2) we don't have that many that aren't directly related to learning something. I'll never have that chance. i've signed the contract that binds me to Junior Year at FR and, since we're going through IB, I've basically said that I will be coming back senior year as well. If I had gone to Newport, or even International, would I know what I want to be when they grew up?
Is there something I have a passion for, but I've never even heard of it?
But seriously, what would be different? About my life? about what I wanted? About who i am?
Comments?
--TTFN "Blainey"
i didn't edit....at all.
I know, sometimes I wonder that too. I got really jealous of my brother this year when he went to Interlake and got to take a bunch of cool elective classes, like computer programming, that I would love to take. Because I think it's important to have taken as many classes in the field you want to go into before college so you have a rough idea of where to start. But at FR I feel like I have to research and strive towards my future career at home and by experimenting because there's no curriculm, or elective, that would help guide me. I mean, it does make me more passionate and determined to find out how I can prepare for my future and what jobs I am interested in, but I wish I could sample a bunch of different classes just to know hands on what I would be getting into. I hear ya Cailyn, about being confused. But I don't think I could actually survive at public school, and I am really grateful for being at FR. I'm just taking it in stride now, because there's no going back and fixing the past.
ReplyDeleteaww Blainey, porcelain believes in fate.
ReplyDeletebut really, thats an interesting idea. idk if it's better to have the road map to your life,or to just enjoy the ride.
I disagree with Kylie... I really don't believe in fate. People make their own decisions and there is nothing determining what happens but ourselves. But I'm glad you're staying. Really glad.
ReplyDelete